don't give up until you read this!!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

spousal abuse | this is not a dress rehearsal

Life is not a dress rehearsal, period.

 How many times have you said to yourself

 when the time is right

 I will start to live my life to the fullest extent possible.

I know from experience that trying to life your life to please someone else can have some fatal consequences.
 If you have been living in a similar situation then it is time to take stock of where  you are in your life, relationship, and career. 

If it needs be changed in some way, shape, or form, then assess your current situation and make a plan to move ahead and start living the life you deserve. Are there a million factors to consider here, you bet there are. We all should be living, laughing, and loving on a regular basis.

 As most of us are living busy lives and schedules we often start chasing our tails around looking for the wrong thing. What is right and what is wrong? It is different for all of us so there is no right answer that suits everyone. 

I do know one area of our lives that can suck the energy out of all most anybody. Dealing with negative attitudes and negative emotions on a constant basis can rip a persons heart and soul right to the core, and it hurts deep inside our being.This may be a result of spousal abuse. If you are constantly being bombarded with negative expressions, personal put downs and angry people you can easily become demoralized and feel that you are the one who needs to change to their standards.

 Nothing could be further from the truth. 

Some of the more common negative emotions are :

  • anger
  • rage
  • jealousy
  • resentment
  • greed
If you experience these types of emotions on a regular basis then it is time to change something. If the people you choose to associate with display these types of behaviors then open your eyes and smell the roses, there is a better way to live. Spousal abuse is wrong regardless if it is women being abused or men being abused.

 People who choose to display positive emotions are certainly happier and have a different outlook on living.
Our daily routines should include laughing and loving, caring and sharing, joy and happiness. If your day does not include these types of positive emotions then you and you alone are responsible to make it happen. Don't wait for someone else to make it happen for you. An abusive spouse will not want you to be happy and see you enjoying yourself.

 Start by loving yourself first.

 That is not being selfish, that is being true to you as a person. If you love yourself first you are able to share your love and joy for living with others that you come in contact with throughout the day.

 There is an interesting law of attraction that simply states:  

What you give to others you will get back in return.

 If you give off negative vibrations that is what you will get back and if you give out positive emotions then you will get that back too. You get back whatever you give out. It is your choice on which route you wish to take. If you are struggling with day to day issues then look in the mirror and change what is not right in your life. Nobody said it was easy but there is a better way to live. 

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

spousal abuse

It takes courage to get yourself out of a abusive relationship. I personally recall reading dozens of books and articles relating to the abusive nature of my own relationship. I didn't want to believe that this was actually happening to me. I discounted the types of behavior that my spouse was capable of. From name calling, to put downs against me personally and my family. The yelling, screaming, shout and criticize then realize the stupidity of the behavior after the fact.  The bizarre nature of  comments  directed to her own kids was odd to say the least.
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond

 It has been a couple of years since I took the courage to leave my relationship of over twenty years. Reading books about what controlling people are really  like made me realize I was living in an abusive relationship.

It wasn't always like this but it got to a point where I didn't even want to go home to my own house. Some people just can't seem to be happy. Apparently these types of people are right and the rest of the world is wrong, and they actually believe that.

 I am now free to be me and have moved on to a better place that is peaceful, quiet, and respectful. We all have a choice and deserve to live in peace.

Monday, January 3, 2011

spousal abuse |donating to charity

I must truly say that giving to those in need gives one a feeling of warmth and satisfaction. I recently gave some money to a local charity that helps kids and their families who are less fortunate than myself. if Christmas time is meant to be a time of giving then I personally feel better that I have given to someone in need.

Money is no doubt a necessity in today's world, but giving to others is also a necessity. In a previous relationship it was take, take, take, and keep it all to ourselves. Since finally having the courage to  leave a verbally abusive relationship and move on to a more respectful relationship I have started to discover who I really am as a person. As I form new relationships and meet new friends I am now understanding how bizarre my former relationship was. It is unfortunate but it is sometimes difficult to see there is a more peaceful way to live. it has been almost two years since i finally choose to live in a different way than I had been accustom to all those years.  What a relief to look back and realize that I haven't been yelled at or screamed at in a couple of years now. Thank God. No one deserves to live in that abusive type of relationship. Although moving on is difficult it is one of those times where a new start is now possible. it means turning obstacles into opportunities.

Being free from a verbally abusive relationship is allowing me to grow and become a better person. The person that I always knew I was, even through all the turmoil, frustration, emotional abuse and verbal abuse. I will be a survivor and I crossed another bridge by giving a donation to an organization that helps people in need.

I would be really interested in hearing about your abusive type relationship and how you finally broke free from the clutches of your verbally abuse mate.