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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

spousal abuse - mental health

Mental health issues, are no doubt, responsible for many of the family break ups and relationship troubles that families are facing these days.

 If one of the partners cannot identify a mental health issue such as depression or a controlling behavior then there is bound to be trouble.This is a classic case of spousal abuse. Spousal abuse takes on many shapes and forms and depression is certainly one of the main ones. Personality conflicts are also a main contributor to relationship and spousal abuse issues.

 I do know one thing, when a parent starts screwing around with the emotions of  members within their own family, THERE IS GOING TO BE TROUBLE.

Today's news cast on CANADA  AM is really interesting. The broadcast hits the nail on the head when the discussion reveals the truth about the stigma that is attached to mental health.

 I can only imagine how difficult it was for these people to talk about their feelings on national television. I give them credit for allowing others to hopefully understand that, it is OK, lots of people are willing to help.

  I still maintain today that if my spouse could have found the courage to seek the necessary help we would still be a family today. I tried, I encouraged, I suggested help in respectful ways, but all my efforts failed so we have both endured a painful divorce.

 Our issues lasted about 8 years before I had finally had enough and made the choice to save me. It still hurts me to see and understand, what could have been. The emotional pain finally came to the surface, and a realization that there must be a better way to live.

Being able to talk about a mental health issue with your spouse should be the first line of defense. The stubbornness of one spouse, to not accept help, eventually lead to the family troubles. It blows me away today when my spouses family totally ignored the reality and would not believe me and my interpretations of the situation. They would rather see our families destroyed instead of indicating that something was wrong with their only child. Everyone wanted to blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility for their own behavior. Keeping a family intact after 20 some years should be a priority for most.

Since I have been removed from a somewhat, crazy way to live, I have a better understanding of what an emotionally abusive, and verbally abusive relationship I was living in. Being able to experience a respectful relationship after all these years of frustration is enlightening and refreshing. This is a relationship where partners support each other for the right reason and we help each other grow to become better people, neither of us judges each others choices but we do openly discuss a variety of issues and lifestyle choices.

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